Really Bad Vegans

Product Review: Bad Monkey Popcorn

Long time no post!

Dina and I are planning our next joint recipe, we’ve just hit a busy patch–I had holidays last month, she has holidays this month. While you’re awaiting that, I thought I’d do our first product review.

A few weeks ago as I strolled through the grocery store, an end display of popcorn drew my attention. I saw the bright orange that says CHEESE. I am trying my damnedest to eat vegan, so I kept on going…when a little word on the bag drew my attention.

Vegan cheese popcorn? For real and for true?

I had to try it.

I wasn’t familiar with the brand so I did a bit of reading–apparently it’s a Canadian thing, and you’d probably find it more readily in bigger grocery stores. In my small town, we’re pretty limited. So maybe this is a product you’ve heard of, or maybe it’s not, but it was new to me.

First thing’s first, and I still can’t believe I’m saying these words but…there was too much salt.

I know, I know, I’m the person who adds salt to salty food. There is no such thing as too much salt. But initially I did find them too salty. (I adjusted after a bit.)

The most important thing: does it tasty cheesy?

It was sufficiently cheesy, yes, at least compared to cheese popcorn in general. Though it’s nacho cheese it’s not spicy and doesn’t have heat. If you’re also someone who prefers heavy seasoning, this’ll be for you. The popcorn was fresh and bag was resealable, so I ate it over a few days.

I liked it well enough that I went back to get more, but they were out of cheese…

Yep I got ketchup. I think it’s a Canadian thing? This is a Canadian company, so that would be why ketchup was one of their flavors.

It did taste like typical ketchup flavouring, which likely doesn’t have dairy in it so isn’t hard to make vegan. I would still like more cheese ones just to see if it was merely an overly salty batch or if they’re all like that, but I’ve yet to find it in stock again.

So, do I recommend Bad Monkey vegan popcorn? Yep! Just prepare for a bit of extra salt.

I would love to see a white cheddar version–I love Smartfood.

*Disclaimer: We are not paid or offered any kind of compensation to review recipes or foods. We’re reviewing stuff we’ve bought on our own. If you’re a company and would like to give us stuff to try with our honest opinion, let us know!

Making Of

MAKING OF: Tater Tot Breakfast Casserole

Dina here.

So remember when I said in the recipe review post for this casserole that I followed the recipe to the letter (except for the hollandaise sauce because fuck hollandaise sauce)?

Yeah. Here’s what that means for me. (Keep in mind, “Dina in the kitchen” = “mustard on the ceiling when making fried chicken which doesn’t call for mustard.” Don’t ask.)

First, I got all my ingredients. Not an easy thing, given I had no idea there were different types of tofu, vegan shredded cheese, and sausages. I ended up choosing a firm tofu (as medium wasn’t available at my store) and a mozzarella-type cheese.

So far, so good! Now to consult the recipe!

1 bag tater tots – check!

1 recipe tofu scramble – uhhh…huh. Okay.

Wait…that’s an entirely separate recipe. Hold up. I have to make the tofu scramble before I can make the casserole? That doesn’t seem fair. I thought this was an all-inclusive thing! Like, the scramble gets made as a casserole. Can’t I buy tofu scramble already done?

No? That’s not a thing? Fine. Let’s see what I need.

Huh. This seems like a lot of work. But, it’s what we decided on for our first recipe review, so let’s get to it. Damn that’s a lot of ingredients….

1…2…3…7…9…FOURTEEN? There are FOURTEEN ingredients in this shit? And it’s part of the OTHER recipe that only calls for six, one of which I’m skipping because I hate it? I feel misled! This is betrayal! RUDE!

*sigh* It’s for a good cause, I guess. Trying to be healthy sucks. *sees Doctor’s Stern Look in her mind*

FINE.

Okay, I got the FOURTEEN THINGS! Now what do I do with them?

Step 1 – combine the spices and bouillon!

Step 2 – Saute the onions! Um…in a pan…with the butter-flavored coconut oil…. So…chopping then…

Might as well slice up the green onion while I’m at it.

Step 3 – Crumble the tofu and add to pan with the onions. Cook three minutes. (Note: Herbivore Skyla was on hand via FaceTime for this step, as WTF? She instructed me on the draining and pressing of the tofu, which should be done BEFORE you cook it! I would never have known to do this crucial step without her, and now I’m passing it on. Thank you, Skyla!)

(It took longer than three minutes to cook the remaining moisture off, which is how long it should be done for.)

Step 4 – Add the broth/spice mix to the pan and cook without stirring for 4 minutes. Got it.

Step 5 – Continue to saute, stirring occasionally, until the liquid evaporates. About 5-8 minutes. (More like 10-15 for me.)

Step 6 – Add the green onion, spinach, dill, and everyday seasoning. Saute until greens are wilted.

Step 7 – Garnish with additional dill/chili flakes if desired. (Dill yes, chili flakes no for me.)

Okay! Tofu scramble recipe complete! Now what?

2 veggie sausages – check!

Vegan shredded cheese – check! (Apparently you can also make a homemade cheese sauce here, but I have my limits.)

~~1/2 cup vegan hollandaise sauce~~ – NOPE. Because fuck hollandaise sauce. I don’t like the non-vegan version, so I’m not about to make this.

1 tbsp fresh chives – check!

All right now! Let’s do this!

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F – Got it. Well, that was easy! Oh…there’s more.

2. Bake or air-fry tots per package directions then put them in a casserole dish. – Easy enough. I’ve baked tots before. Done!

3. Cut up vegan sausage and fry until browned and heated through. – Sure. No problem.

Okay, ew. They were all…squishy. And moist.

Well, now I know why they were moist. That’s not butter in that pan.

4. Sprinkle tofu scramble and sausage on top of tots and top with cheese shreds. – Can do!

5. Into the oven until cheese shreds have melted, 5-7 minutes. – Done! Wait…they’re not melting…how long is this supposed to bake again? Yeah, it’s gonna need longer. Like 15 minutes instead of 5. Okay this is taking forever! It’s as melted as it’s going to get! (For the record, I used the whole bag of cheese, which in hindsight was probably unwise. But fun!)

7. Top with fresh chives and serve. – FINALLY! That took all fucking evening! The combined total time listed for both recipes is 62 minutes, and mine took like 3 hours! Of course, I also have Multiple Sclerosis, so spoons are a factor here. I’m a bit slower than an able-bodied person.

OMG I did it! I made a thing! And it was edible!

And that’s how Dina made this recipe.

Verdict: Worth the spoons. I’d totally make this again, with some minor adjustments for ingredient choices (not so much cheese next time, and maybe a cheddar instead of a mozzarella).

Recipe Review

Edgy Veg’s BEST Tater Tot Breakfast Casserole

The Recipe

Our very first recipe we’re trying here!

One of our criteria for selecting recipes is something that’ll be fun to eat with stuff we like. Tater tots? We’re there!

If you’d like to try out the recipe, you’ll find it here.

The Variations/Customization

Our own variations can affect the overall recipe. Here are some of our choices for consideration.

Skyla: I’ve experimented a lot with tofu scramble recipes and did not end up using the Edgy Veg one but this one. My own variation on it involves smoked paprika rather than the regular kind and a teaspoon of dried red bell pepper flakes.

Although you can fudge the amounts a little, some of them you want to be pretty precise, like the mustard. Too much and…the whole thing just tastes like mustard.

I also made a smaller amount because I’m just feeding me. The tofu scramble reheats well but it’s better to start with fresh tater tots for the rest.

The sausage I used was Yves Mediterranean Harissa Veggie Sausages. The cheese was a cheddar from a company called Earth Island in Canada but known actually known as Follow Your Heart elsewhere.

Dina: I know next to nothing about tofu. I made a vegan dip with some silken tofu once (and believe me, I had no idea there were different types of tofu) and it did not end well, for me or the tofu. I know I love the little cubes of it in the miso soup I get at the sushi place, and that’s about it. When I first read this recipe, I raised a very dubious brow.

Though I am sure Skyla’s version is delicious (and a lot less fuss), I did use the Edgy Veg recipe for tofu scramble (Florentine style). The sausage I used was Beyond Meat’s Beyond Sausage Brat Original. The cheese I used was Follow Your Heart Mozzarella Shreds. I did see both their cheddar and pizzeria blend versions, but decided on the mozzarella for this recipe. The tofu I used was Wildwood Organic Sproutofu (what?) Firm.

The Review

Skyla: I’ve been making something similar to this for a while now, although I use hashbrowns in place of tater tots and Yves vegan bacon strips in places of sausage, so I already knew what to expect. Tater tots, of course, make everything better.

I used a small cast iron pan instead of a casserole dish and only made enough tater tots for one, but combined with the scramble and sausage, I found it very filling and only ended up eating about half.

If you’re only feeding one or two people, it’s probably best to cook the tots (or hashbrowns) as needed–the scramble keeps very well in the fridge for a couple of days. The only need for the oven at the end is to melt the cheese, so a small ramekin would also do.

Dina: So I followed the recipe nearly to the letter. I have a habit of doing that the first time I make something, then fiddle with it the next time if I feel it needs tinkering. The only thing I did differently was add some of my beloved salt to the cooked tater tots when they came out of the oven, because I like my tots salty.

I can honestly say I enjoyed this meal. It was simple enough to make, required very little prep (though honestly for me it was more spoon-consuming as it was my first time and I had no idea what to do), and was delicious. It has all the ingredients you need for a well-rounded meal, and if you make the whole portion like I did, there’s plenty left over for additional meals — a bonus for all you Spoonies out there. Every now and then I would get a bite of the melty mozzarella and it was wonderful. Edgy Veg uses the phrase “Carnivore Approved Vegan Recipes,” and I can honestly say, as a carnivore, I approve of this recipe.

Skyla: I kind of feel like this recipe would be forgiving of a subpar vegan cheese because it’s such a mix of flavors. The Earth Island/Follow Your Heart is actually a very convincing American cheddar, but something like Daiya would probably be okay in a pinch. Edgy Veg also suggested a cheese sauce she offers a recipe for, which would do.

Also, I didn’t do the hollandaise sauce. I’ve never had the actual egg version–it’s very unappealing and I don’t really like eggs–so I didn’t bother with the vegan version and can’t say what it would/wouldn’t add to this recipe. YMMV

Dina: I didn’t do the hollandaise sauce either because fuck hollandaise sauce, that’s why. I don’t like the egg version and I’m certainly not going to make it vegan.

Stay tuned for Dina’s “making of” post, wherein a carnivore learns about tofu.

Uncategorized

Coming Soon!

Like the tagline says, a carnivore and a vegetarian walk into a bar…wait….

No, there’s too much. Lemme sum up. We don’t hate vegans. We’re trying our best to be them. It’s…challenging. These are (soon to be) our stories and attempts at vegan cooking.